Several years ago I was going home from my spa each night and falling into bed from sheer exhaustion.

I was booked solid as a licensed esthetician. I was the spa owner, the spa receptionist, the spa janitor, and the spa leasing agent/landlord (I had four renters at the time).

Some days I didn’t have time to eat, drink or use the restroom.

Don’t get me wrong, I felt lucky and blessed to have such a profit generating business, but it was getting to the point where I knew I was going to burn out if I didn’t make a change.

So, I decided it was time to bring on an employee.

I had this vision of the perfect person showing up, magically becoming booked solid, and taking their position as an esthetician at my spa as seriously as I did.

Looking back now, I realize that I had an unrealistic vision. It was as though I thought a unicorn in a Noel Asmar Uniform would show up with a great pair of Rubis tweezers in hand.

I imagined this magical being saying, “Ok Lori, I am ready to go, we will be friends, and I promise your clients will all love me and come to me when you are booked up. And I will honor your spa like it’s my own. Oh and P.S., I will sell a bunch of products and help out with the laundry.”

I had no idea that bringing on an employee would be the biggest learning curve that I would ever encounter as a business woman.

As this is an article and not a book, I don’t have room to list all the lessons that I have learned along the way as an employer. I will, however, share with you the top 3 most powerful ones I have mastered.

1. You can’t wish them busy.

Yes, I did try this. It didn’t work.

Every morning after setting my intentions for myself, I would write down three things I wished for them to welcome into their day.

I would do it all for them. I’d do their laundry, clean up their messes, buy mailing lists for them to send promotional invites to and I’d do their follow up calls for them.

Guess what?

None of it made a difference.

Why?

None of it mattered because I was hiring people who could not have cared less about showing up in a way one must if they are seeking to become truly successful.

I thought if I made is easy and used my mad manifestation skills for them; they would appreciate me and respect my business. I was wrong.

I became a sad mother hen martyr instead of a great boss. And in the process, I had somehow created more work and minimal profits.

2. You have to be a boss – not a bossy-pants.

Instead of wishing success for someone you have hired, I have found that you need to lead with clarity and, more importantly, lead by example.

You need a “what to do when not with a client” to-do list for your employees. This list should be clear for them. Be sure to include complete instructions on how to do each task you list.

Additionally, I recommend that you have quarterly team meetings where you will ask the employee how you can better support them. Once you ask, be sure to listen to their responses. Next, you need to express in a professional manner what you need from the employee. Take good notes and keep them in the employee’s file.

You must be their guiding light – someone who is open to communicating in a kind way with your staff and not a “condescending bossy-pants” or an “I hope they like me” pushover.

Let me warn you, 99% of the time you can’t be friends with your employees. You can be kind and fair, but becoming BFF’s is probably not the best approach.

3. Hire someone with a similar set of skills and similar core values.

This area is where I gained the most momentum in my hiring of an employee.

I was at my Women In Business mastermind group when I mentioned that I could not find a good employee. I mentioned that it was perplexing because I felt like I offered the perfect environment for someone to thrive in, and yet it just wasn’t working.

One of the members said, “You have to hire someone who is not just good, but who also has a similar skill-set and then you must pay them right.”

I left that meeting and decided to clean up my hiring act.

I brought on a payroll company – no more independent contractors for me!

I called around for workman’s comp insurance quotes. I’ll warn you, it’s not cheap – especially the first year – but it is mandatory.

I called my CPA for advice on how to do this employee thing right.

I came up with a structured pay system that included a weekly salary plus commission on services and products.

I created a clear job description including the hours I needed the esthetician to be at the spa and the admin type support that I would expect from them.

I picked up the phone and called Annie, a 7-year esthetician who had shown interest in working for me. She is close to my age, and had an amazing portfolio of past work, certificates in a ton of advanced educational classes and was willing to give it a try for 6-months.

Annie has now been with me almost two years, and I feel like we have developed a very supportive work relationship because we have the same love, devotion and passion toward the beauty industry.

It’s been a big win for us both.

At this stage, here’s what I can tell you for sure, hiring and maintaining employees is a crazy blend of frustration and bliss, but it is so worth it.

I hope this helps those of you who are experiencing the same feelings of fear and overwhelm that I was when I knew it was time to expand or breakdown. I promise the right person to support your biz is out there, you just need to approach it with some clarity.

A little heads up… This summer I will be creating a small mastermind for those who are feeling close to burning out and know that it is time to grow. I want to help you expand and do so with confidence and grace. If this sounds like heaven to you, and you would like to be on the list for more details as they become available, please email my team here and ask to be put on the “first to know” list.